So…about Renaissance Festivals…If you’ve never been to one, GO!
I remember going to the Texas Renaissance Festival quite a few times when I was a college student in the early 90’s. I spent much of the day looking at the women, as I dreamed of being dressed up, made up, and laced up. Especially the laced up part. SO sexy!
Fast forward about 25 years…
Some very good friends of mine, the first married couple I came out to, and who I believe are the very pillars of my support network, are members of a Clan that camps for the duration of the season every year. The wife and I have become very close friends, and I think I have flipped through every RenFest picture on her Facebook page, hoping that could someday be me. While she and I were getting our nails done one day, she brought up the Renaissance Festival, and invited me to bring my RV and camp as their guest at the Clan’s group camping area. I could almost hear my credit card scream with delight, knowing we were about to do some serious shopping! A couple weeks later, I found myself in The Spotted Pony, looking for the costume I’ve wanted to wear for so long. Yes, I know this sounds cheesy…don’t worry, it gets worse. 🙂
I truly had no idea what to expect when I got to the campgrounds. I had been to the Faire many times, but had never ventured into the camping area. I didn’t realize the place was so big, with so many campers. This was going to be a blast, and for the first time ever, I went on a trip without a shred of male anything. I arrived at camp, got my camper parked and began the most amazing weekend with a loving family of people who have no idea what my deadname is or what I look like in male-mode. They don’t want to know either, because they only care about me for who I am, not for who I’ve been forced to be for so many years.
Before all of this, I had shared what was going to happen with my therapist. She told me this may end up being one of the most pivotal events of my life, and she was absolutely correct. I’ve never spent this much time totally immersed as myself. MYSELF, the woman I’ve been searching for in every mirror for 40 years. The end of the weekend was a lot harder than I’d expected, even though that was another thing I was told I needed to be prepared for. I think it all came crashing down when I realized it had to end, and I had to go back to my male life. I was saying my goodbyes, and was talking to my friend in her tent. I couldn’t hold it in any longer, and a flood of emotions came rushing out. I collapsed into my friend’s arms and just bawled for all I was worth. I will never forget spending the weekend with no judgement, no fear…pure acceptance.
I have found my people, and they have adopted me. My family has been graciously extended, and I will forever be grateful for their love and hospitality. You know who you are. Thank you so much, I love you all.